right now.. i am fucking pissed off...

i am seriously wondering what the hell is wrong with the people of this world..

just a few months ago, my brother out of kindness gave his personal particular to his fren to sign up a mobile plan.. (ok, i have to admit he is dumb also la!) his this bloody fren chalked up a total of 2k plus phone bill... billed to our residential address.. and today.. its stil not settled yet..

I dont know how the hell he used so much in a month.. but tt asshole refused to pay up till now... when my mom called, he just decided to stop using tt line... n sign up another line using my bro's particular again!

toking about trust abusing.. i am so damn pissed off... and now he chalked up another 200 plus of phone bills.. when my mom called him just now.. upon hearing wat my mom was going to say, he hung up immediately... FUCKING COWARD CAN !!

argh... why do stupid things always happen within this family.... i had enough ! enough is enough... i just feel like shouting till my voice breaks now... grrrr...

ooo.. i am on mc today again.. infection again.. boooz..

last thursday was dinner at chinatown with jr, cindy, apple, rh, wee, spencer.. n it so happened that the next day all of us except wee were off.. so decided to play mj overnight at spencer's place.. I was thinking of dropping by dear's place to bath before heading over to spencer's hse.. but since dear finish his ops, i decided to accompany him.. so i went over his place.. hee..

Friday went for my eye checkup.. everything was ok le ! n went to meet jr, cindy, shihong, rh, hanwei, beng, victoria and spencer for dinner at orchard.. wanted to go alley bar after that but it was packed ! so we went over to a pub that victoria recommend de... its like that worst pub i ever been to.. can u imagine almost all of the people that are younger than us.. and their singing totalli sucks ! omg..

Saturday was out to sentosa with elaine.. n after which was shopping for both of us.. before i went to meet rh, wee, beng, jr, cindy, lingzi and agnes for ice age 2... beng, wee and rh treated mi.. hee.. thanks! tt show is damn funni.. tt stupid rat is like so idiotic! afterwhich mi, beng , wee and lingzi went down sch for the gl prep camp.. actualli basically there i was editing my blogskin with the help from charlene ! thanks alot girl !

Sunday early in the morning i pop by dear's place.. n fell aslp there till late afternoon.. -_- we went town shopping and i watch ice age with him again.. lol.. stil entertaining after the second time.. hee..

Monday was usual working day.. boring in fact.. whole day diff ppl tried to convince me to stay.. but i just couldnt be bothered.. lol..

Yesterday was half day for mi.. bcos i felt so bored.. lol.. dear also released early! so i went over his place to take an afternoon nap.. lol.. after tt we went to suntec for steamboat buffet.. cos i was so craving it !! lol.. we went to search for his dad's present bcos its his birthday.. after which home sweet home.. =)

right now i am deciding if i should go zouk tonight.. its been frickin long time since i went clubbing.. sheez.. argghh i wanna slp lo.. tata..

friday slacking session at starbucks.. wee and jr was so psyche about playing mahjong.. and they were thinking about whose hse to go too.. in the end settled for jr's hse on saturday morning..

can u believe, i actualli woke up at 830 !! just to go over to jr's place.. at the split second i woke up, i was thinking what the hell am i doing? why did i get myself psycho for doing sth so ridiculous.. haha..

nevertheless i stil woke up in time to meet rh.. bought breakfast cum lunch for wee and jr.. i played till cindy and beng came before leaving to dear's place to accompany him..

and yes, i talked to him.. he said he will do his best to open himself up.. i am afraid that history repeats itself again.. we went over to spencer's hotel room for his bday celebration in the evening..

went to watch "failure to launch" on sunday.. veri nice show.. hehe.. a show suitable for couples.. lol

On monday, dinner at sakae with dear at tiong bahru.. lol.. he super bth mi tt day.. cos i dont know why i was talking non-stop.. even when i said i wanted to keep quiet.. i stil said alot of things before i shut up..

Today another usual day.. rh n wee said in another 2 mths, the same thing will repeat itself again.. tts the frequency of it happening in the past.. how? i asked myself this.. everytime i said its the last time i am going to let it happen.. but somehow its always not the case.. I am just wondering how mani last times.. they say i am veri soft hearted.. i have no choice but to agree..

I found myself asking why do i have a soft spot for him?
I dont go back when i said i wanted to let go.. but for him i did it..
There are things that i really cant accept, but for him i accept it..
This is so weird.. so weird..

Mayb this is wat u call love..
everything's so weird about it..
I just dont understand.. zzzz""

I have been going thru emotional spells.. and right now when i am supposed to be slping... i just cant slp..

I dont know what am i gonna write.. but i feel so lost..

a quick update..
tuesday
went to paulaner with jr and spencer.. just some drinking and chilling out session.. hilarous.. the band was great.. yet.. i feel so down..
wednesday
to the balcony with spencer, rh n lucas.. ya.. drinking n chilling out session again.. feeling very down.. yet no one notices it..
thursday
to duxton blue with dillon, wee, rh, spencer, cindy, agnes, lucas, beng, his frenz.. feeling super down.. i just sat quietly there not interacting with anyone..
i broke down n spilled everything to him over the phone.. i told him wat i feel.. or rather part of it.. it was a terrible day.. we decided to talk things out on Sunday after his ops..

today.. (fri)
i had a quarrel with the boss.. n i tendered my resignation letter.. everyone was asking mi to stay.. but i find no future staying there..
i admit i was crying in office.. not bcos of work.. but i feel helpless n lost..
like wat i told cs.. i realli feel so contradicting.. on one hand, i feel like giving up.. but on the other hand, i just cant bear to let it go..
This is one of the greatest challenges that i will be facing.. can anyone just tell me how do i get him to open up to ppl around him...
Bcos of this, there's a communication barrier betw us.. and its not good, its not healthy.. it cause me to feel insecure bcos i really know nth abt him..
I told myself, it doesnt matter if in the end he hates mi, but i will get him to open up.. for his own good..
I want him to be happi.. I want to be there to know his problems.. I want to share my things with him.. I want him to share his things with mi..

I tot that he wont contact me these few days due to his ops..
So u can imagine how surprise i am to receive his call.. ya, i am happy he called.. just sth so simple can brighten up my day..
But wat he told mi really broke my heart... he told mi he hurt himself while playing soccer.. there was a very deep cut on his forehead.. and he had to go to the hospital for stitches..
I nearly cried.. on the verge to.. I was worried sick for him.. it was then i know deep in my heart i would not let him go.. unless he chose to let go..

I rushed down to his place after work when i am supposed to meet up with rh and all.. bought dinner for him and took a look at his wound..
My heart really aches for him.. I really wanna hug him but yet i tried my best to keep myself away from him..
Dress his wound and apply lotion before rushing down to holland v to meet up wif jr beng rh and wee..

chill out at starbucks.. i called him.. but i feel weird.. he's cold towards mi.. sometimes i really dont understand him.. one moment hot the next cold.. haiz..

i think i have been a bad girl this past week... i was out for all days except monday...

Monday was just going work and home...

Tuesday was out wif lingzi to jp for dinner and some chit chat session.. was usual more craps came out.. she always keeps me laughing...

Wednesday was out with dear.. to ikea... shopping n looking around...

Thursday was out with gb and ahgong.. to causeway for dinner.. both of them are like so dead.. -_-

Friday was off day.. i went to sign my appointment letter with my new company.. =) n i met 2 of my future colleagues, joanne and shirleen.. we went for medical check-up tog... To be frank i really was quite pissed by their obnoxious behaviour.. they are really so spoilt... keep complaining to me that their current company is much better blah blah blah.. say no high pay they feel kanna cheated..
Mayb its just me who thinks differently.. I just wanna gain as much experience in this industry.. I dont really care about the pay.. tsktsk..
After that was dinner at holland v...

Saturday was sentosa outing. i really wanna complain liaoz... i call jr and part time till i was late... haha.. only mi and wee managed to wake up in time.. and we started calling everyone.. to our dismay everyone was like ko... in the end mi spencer and wee went there first...
the two guys was like suntaning there... so i started disturbing them.. tickling them n throwing sand at them.. haha..
then jr and dear came along.. the sun was frickin hot tt day...
after that was dinner at lau pa sat... i think the 4 of us, jr mi dear n spencer realli ordered too much !.. faint.. we had lala, stringray, kai lan, oyster egg, crayfish, 2 soups, satay..
after dinner mi jr and cindy went to spencer place to play mj... played all the way till 4 plus 5 in the morning..

Sunday.. went over to dear's place immediately after the end of mj session cos he also just finish his ops... both of us ko all the way till 3 plus.. n went town for shopping... had dinner at sushi tei wif jr n cindy... then both of us went to catch V for vendetta...
I think the show is so F*cking fabulous.. n believe it or not.. I am so in love with the male lead.. though he is just a masked figure... but i just find him so intriguing.. so charming... i will definitely melt if he recites one of those intelligent literature works to me.. i know i know.. i am nuts.. i have a soft spot for such ppl k.. haha..

Anyway.. today was slacking at work.. was thinking about alot alot alot of things.. and i really dont know why tears just fell.. no no i am not suffering from depression.. haha.. i just merely tot about wats going on and i felt sad.. i just suddenly feel its so hard to please the ones u hold dear to your heart.. its so hard to strike a balance.. i know things have changed and no, i am not being paranoid or overly sensitive.. i can no longer trust as i used to.. i no longer feel secure.. and like it or not, i am beginning to close myself up... and there will be many things or emotions i will hiding le...

ok.. after work i went scouting around for V3x and N6280.. i am in dilemna as to which phone is nicer.. i am in love with both phones.. anyone give mi comments? pls pls.. desperately need some comments...

weekend was bad... i had a dispute with dear again.. seriously am quite sick of it le...

fri was ktv at orchard partyworld.. before that was dinner with jr, wee, rh n cindy at jack's place.. Met up wif zj, jerm and dear for k session.. He bought me eclairs... =) went over his place cos i am heading to sentosa the next day...

Sat was tanning session with charlene ! hehe.. bought our breakfast at delifrance n headed in.. The sun was hot so we were there for only 1 to 2 hours.. hee..
headed down town wif her.. went shopping.. I received Dear's call saying he's meeting up with his frenz to the IT show.. I was fine with it so i told him to go ahead n would meet up wif him after my class's gathering.. n he was like meet him for wat.. i admit i was puzzled.. bcos previously when i told him i am going for my class gathering, i asked if he wanted me to go over to acc him after tt.. n he said yes... yup.. n so i was speechless for a few seconds b4 telling him tt..
well well.. i tot mayb he wanna go out wif his frens.. so i told him to go ahead... i can always head home to rest.. no problem for mi at all..
n thats when everything started.. he started getting irritated n the attitude came out again.. i was like "Wat the hell"

n so after tt espisode.. he wanted to meet me.. But this whole incident left mi feeling veri veri down.. i went to kfc to have lunch with hc n charlene.. n there's a point when my eyes just started getting teary.. he called n apologized.. i told him to go meet up with his frens.. reason being that i just dont feel like seeing anyone tt day.. n he got frustrated again.. telling mi that his frens did not include him in their program le..
but in the end we stil decided to meet up.. ya i know.. so lame...

went to taka with hc n charlene to the creativity level.. i went to search for some inspirations on wat to do for him... but as i walked on.. i became more n more sad... i just feel so unfair n pointless.. dumb dumb called n comforted mi... i was even crying at one point..

went to meet him at city hall to go to the IT fair.. i was still feeling veri hurt.. but i just hide everything inside.. i did manage to cheer myself up abit... we walked around.. he bought a web cam and a photo printer..
had dinner at thai express and went back his place.. I was too tired to do anything... mayb mentally tired too.. i just wan to rest.. so i ko there..

Sunday was mj session at jr's place.. luck was on my side.. till a point where i felt so guilty when ever i win.. so i just diam diam there.. lol.. plus i was feeling veri tired...

why cant i even get a proper answer n not some frustrated tone... i dont see that his frens get this kind of shit when they talk to him.. i so had the urge to say it in his face that i am ur gf.. someone with feelings.. not something for you to vent ur anger on.. but yet i did not.. i just cant bear to do tt..
Suddenly i realised.. this kind of thing has been happening rather frequently.. i really dont know how much longer i can take it though...
But i seriously hope that he wont go over my limit.. bcos i really dont know wat i can do...

i shall keep tt previous post to myself n not post it out... i just feel that sometimes the human mouth can be so terrifying.. so... no more of my personal tots here.... i gonna keep it all private...

took the day off... n met up wif beng after my interview... short chit chatting session at tcc.. i did tell him my opinion on someone.. names shall not be mentioned.. playing arcade wif beng... lol... i wanna play more !!!

but dear was hungry so we went for dinner... lingzi n lyn came over to find us... been so long since i saw them !!! lingzi is so blur can !! she can walk infront of us n call beng ask where are we... i laugh till bth..

after wards was pool session at sg shopping centre.. mi n lingzi catch up wif each other.. i told her sth thats deep buried within my heart... not even a single soul on earth knows abt it.. yup.. i told her... n surprisingly she felt the same way as i do.. pengz... n now i told charlene abt it.. she also felt the same way as us... how is it possible? mayb that someone really doesnt have a character... ok i should not be bad..

anyway.. after toking to lingzi.. i felt something that i tried to keep within my heart... something that i am not willing to face up to... something that keeps bothering mi every now n then... but i guess its time i face up to reality.. i was supposed to meet up wif rh n wee today.. i wanted to tok to them abt how i feel...but both are not free last min..

i wanna tok to lingzi... i m so sorry girl.. for the first time i felt regretful that i did not take care of my eyes.. resulting in being ban from clubbing for a few mths... n bcos of it.. i cant be there to listen to her cos they are going zouk tonight... haiz... i feel so bad...

be strong girl.. =) n i feel girls whu throw themselves at guys are such a disgrace...

Thursday
work as usual nth special.. rushing off to meet up wif dear at tiong bahru for movie... caught underworld.. damn cool show.. the lead actress just nv fails to amaze me with her beauty.. she's so hot..! overall nice story plot.. u guys should watch it... went to queensway for stringray n lala.. cos he's craving for it.. haha..
n we waited for damn long for a stupid cab.. there's this couple whu had the cheeks to just stand in front of us to steal cab... i did something real funni.. i kinda "shouted" at them.. buey zi dong.. cab stealers.. haha..

Friday
met up wif ahgong for dinner at siam kitchen !! finalli my craving for thai food.. haha.. but not to my expectation.. i still prefer thaiexpress.. kl came while we were eating.. after which met up wif gb n sw... played arcade n went to mac to wait for our show to start...
caught final destination 3... the show is damn gross lo.... each time the person die i was like so speechless that the person could die like that.. ewwwksz...totalli horrible ! but the suspense is stil there so i would say not a bad show...

Saturday
met up wif cs at sim lim.. tt crazy guy wanna buy psp.. so damn ex lo.. then i went to pray n got myself a crystal bracelet.. we went icon to take a look... nth much there.. mayb cos there's not much ppl.. the whole building is kind of dead.. went for lunch at billy bomber... n we went over kiat's place... he bought mi an adidas slipper and a pair of ear rings from taiwan... they are realli veri nice.. =) thanks ar..
jona, hc, bao n kiat were playing mj.. haha.. i helped jona play.. n lost his money.. haha... after awhile went for dinner at suntec with ky, his girl, dear... ky came fetch mi and shui bian lobang hc.. god damn it lo... took almost like an hour to find a stupid parking lot.. we even switched to different places to find.. everywhere is full!!! faint..
n i have to admit i am realli totalli not in best of mood.. i was quite pissed off by dear tt day.. early morning he gave mi attitude when i tried to speak properly with him.. ya though i know e reason.. but stil its realli not my fault... so i just try to put myself in his shoes.. n he gave mi attitude again when he waited for a long time for the three of us.. realli.. its not my fault again... how am i supposed to know there's no parking lot...
i think i am realli on the verge of crying cos i was so frickin mad.. i realli just feel like stepping out of ky's car n just go home...
ky suggested that he drop mi off first while they two go search for a lot.. i figured that there's the best solution.. so yea..
when i met up wif him.. i tried to explain to him.. so i really cannot be bothered if he understands or not...
after dinner.. ky n his girl went off.. while mi and dear went to ktv cos he wanna sing song.. so anything lo.. wanted to go home after tt cos i am meeting elaine the next day.. but ya.. he wanted to spend more time wif mi.. so i went over his place lo...

Sunday
msg elaine saying i not meeting up wif her.. cos i was realli too tired.. n slept all the way to 12 plus 1.. dear was supposed to meet up wif zj at 1.. n he was veri late.. so i think he's very pissed off with himself.. i dont know how to handle him.. so i just diam diam n called zj to inform him..
after that he went work n i went home to take a rest...
i am actualli quite affected by saturday's incident.. i just feel so unfair.. n the saddest part.. not even a sorry has been said.. mayb he doesnt know he reacted tt way.. n i just dont wish to say.. n how come i have the feeling that i am being taken for granted again... tired... i feel damn fucked up...

mi and my big mouth again... dotz...

monday i went over my dear's place after work.. n just bcos i jokingly mentioned on sunday night that i would love him to cook for mi... he decided to cook dinner for mi... faintz... n bcos of some stuffs.. he got realli irritated... to be frank.. i am still not used to his temper... so i just stand there like a tootz.. not knowing how to react.. lolx.. i just chose to ignore it... haha...

anyway.. i was flipping the papers n doing some search online about scholarships... from various companies.. but i am still in a blur as to wat i should do... should i just work hard from the bottom n try to break into the oil industry... or should i just apply the scholarship n mug for exams which is a killer for a lazy person like mi.. i am realli in a dilemna.. haiz... pls show me some direction...

n.. i wan wan wan wan to watch final destination3 !!!! i so wanna watch it veri much...!!! ahgong gb.... i wanna watch haha...

these few days are just working n working.. today i am craving for fries... hehe... i dont know why... n i am craving for thai food !!!! i wanna eat thai food !!!!

some updates... this week finally back to work... work sucks as usual... n i went for interview at Schering-Plough on thursday... i seriously hope to get it.. but i think i might be disappointed.. sad...

fri was out wif gb and ahgong.. lol.. afternoon was so craving for kfc...! so i msg them wanna go out eat kfc ltr? hahaha... think both of them think i so ridiculous.. haha...
But anyway, still met up wif them.. went to lot 1.. and the three of us finished the fortune meal lehz !!! haha.. i think i was super craving for it that i ate alot.. ops..
went to play arcade wif them.. played the basketball thingy.. kaoz.. ppl is throw till hand tired.. i stand till tired.. cos i too short!! got to tip toe... pengz... after which was ktv session... finally !!!! after dont know how mani mths of not singing... jitao super fun... lol... i stil cant believe that i cant reach the girl's part for shan hu hai... i cant believe it !! haha... si gb stil keep replaying the song to gek mi... zhu tou...
i am so in love wif jay's new songs !!! especially the shou ji lang man... or lang man shou ji.. cant rem.. ha
sang all the way till 2 n they send mi home in a cab.. zzzzz... tired!

sat n sunday was spend wif dear... he came over for lunch on sat cos my mama cooking... my fav soup! after which went over his place... cant go anywhere cos he's on mc.. poor thing... tsk tsk..
we cooked spragetti for dinner... actualli is he cook la.. haha.. cos just right hc call mi.. when i finish talking to him.. he also almost done.. muahaha... =x
n i wan to complain!! why the bed so big... pian pian must squeeze mi into a corner until i no place to slp.... so i was dead tired today... lolz... actualli was intending to go east coast cycle... but i am tired to go anywhere.... so just zzzzzzz the whole day.... lol...
went home early... cos got no money to take cab le... super broke... wanted to ask him go walk walk... but in the end decided better not... cos i think he also broke bcos of his v day gift to mi.... seee.... mi n my big mouth... tsk...

to all contact lens user all there........ boycott Renu solution !!! lolz.....

wee wee told mi he saw on the newspaper that out of 22 people whu got eye infection... 21 of them are using renu....

see see see see see see !!! i knew it !!!!
previously when i am using solocare no such problems de... though there's no scientific proof la... but it must be it !!!!!!!

boycott boycott !!!!!....

I am on mc all the way till monday ! wooohooo... but stil.. i cant go out.. so its equal to nothing...

yesterday.. my dear came over n acc mi to my eye check up... i was told gladly by the doc that my eyes are recovering fast.. but yea.. got to face the fact that my eyesight will be affected.. haiz.. serve mi right for being so lazy.. for taking my eyes for granted..

after which both of us da bao kfc home to eat.. n took a short afternoon nap.. tsk.. could realli feel my eyes getting more in need of rest le.. it gets tired realli easily.. totalli sucks..

he woke up n prepare to go wedding dinner.. while i continued to slack at home.. lol..stayed up waiting for him.. had to take his bag down for him cos he going back camp...

today is slping day again.. funni.. i slept so long n yet i stil feel tired.. dear came over to acc mi after his work... took an afternoon nap n went out for dinner...
got scolded by him.. just bcos i asked if i could join him n jr they all at alley bar... kinda shocked cos he jitao scolded mi so fierce... n he was angry bcos i dont know how to take care of myself.. ok i know he meant good.. so i diam diam liao lo..
went ntuc bought things to munch at home... hee... n his rashes came back again... he veri pek cek... i also dont know wat to do.. faints.. so i just diam diam lo.... lol...
haiz... i am ban from going out this whole week.. i cant believe it !!! faintz... diam diam lo... lol

ok.. i think i am quite bored la.. so i decided to write abt something... just a few weeks back.. one of my frenz broke up wif her bf... n the reason being bcos she cant see any future wif tt guy...
I am sure alot of ppl come across this situation.. I myself have been thru this transition stage... I think alot of girls think its kinda cool to say that when u break up with tt guy.. but honestly.. it is so not...
on the contrary.. i think its damn dumb to say tt.... n its veri unfair... ok.. i think i am referring to myself at times.. lol.. yes.. i do admit sometimes i cant see the future with him.. mayb sometimes i feel that he's not gonna be there for me in the future.. i dont know.. realli mayb its just due to me feeling insecure tts all.. but anyway.. i figure it all out... yes its totalli unfair to the other party... bcos ppl do change as time goes by.. so how do u know for sure wats gonna happen in the future? just bcos at present there are somethings that u cant stand abt the other party and u just put him on death sentence.. who knows mayb as the two of you walk down this long journey.. he turns out to be ur prince charming? crapz..

ok.. i m stil quite bored... well.. was talking to charlene just now... and i was telling her... i realli kinda think lucas spoils mi too much le... things he got for mi are always so expensive... the amount of money he spent on mi is way beyond my imagination.. n u know wat.. it totalli make mi damn guilty... bcos i am not the sort of girl whu enjoys ppl pampering mi.. especially spending a large sum of money on mi.. i feel so guilty.. damn.. cant do anything abt it? so much i wanted to spoil him back.. but well.. i m relatively poor in tt sense.. but i guess thats how it is ba? cos if i have the money.. i will pamper him too.. lol..
someone told mi once i am a typical libra... i always have the tendency to give in to others... n when i asked him wat the hell he meant... lol.. he told mi i give in too much... n he has nv seen anyone as understanding as mi...

see tt as a compliment? i kinda think he's being rude..
I mean whu the heck in the world would want to pick up an argument with ur partner anyhow... of cos i will give in if i feel i have nth to lose... its just taking a step back muh.. wats so difficult about that.. n by doing so.. reduces another quarrel... so everyone's happi at the end of the day lo...
cant understand how some ppl think at times..... it doesnt hurt to give in alittle more at times to make the other person happi.. especially when the person's someone dear to your heart right? =)

ok... time for mi to rest my eyes... heee...

a'right gonna update about whats going on 14th of Feb... I have only one thing to say.. I am really so touched by wat my dear planned.. its the first valentine's day i spent with him n truly it was the best valentine's day for me..

The day started with me having a check up with the eye doctor and i was praying so damn hard that i can be discharge.. bcos i know dear planned n spent alot.. all would go to waste if i cant go home..

n yes.. the doc allow me to go home.. god bless him!! =)

went home to take a rest.. he came over my place in the afternoon... n.. i had the first surprise of the day... he got mi one of my fav flowers.. white roses !!.. a dozen of them wrapped in a pretty lavendar paper with a sweet "i love u" heart cushion pinned at the neck of the bouquet..

n tt silly boi got mi to close my eyes while he put on a necklace for mi... i jumped with joy when i saw tt... its citigems !!! my first citigems from him... just cos i once mentioned that i realli love citigems... n its realli pretty.. tts my second surprise.. so sad i cant give him his present.. but i will finish it up quick after my eyes recover.. =)

after which he tuck mi in bed to have a rest before heading for our dinner.. n he fell aslp too.. lol..

guess where he brought mi to?

The night safari !!! hee.. he booked the gourmet express valentine's day dinner... its a 5 course meal on a tram...it takes u round the park..
(actualli i alreadi knew tt he might take mi on this.. cos i saw it on a newspaper or mag.. but dont ask mi how i know.. i just had this instinct.. shhhhh... he doesnt know ha)
but stil its a veri nice experience bcos its the first time both of us tried it.. definitely something kept in my memory forever..
the day ends with a night show... short n nice !

n its home sweet home.. =) i dont know wat to say.. but i think girls out there would think i am veri xin fu... ya.. i realli am.. ^-^ i know he cares alot for mi cos he keeps asking hows my eyes thru out the night n he wants mi to go home to rest as soon as the show ends..

i know i am a veri careless n stupid girl whu always get myself into shits.. got to buck up Miss Khoo ! n i nearly spoilt his valentine's day if i cant discharge.. I realli can be such a kutu at times.. n i have been falling sick like 4 to 5 times in these 2 mths..

up till now i stil cant believe i have him by my side.. its like too good to be true eh.. thanks dear for everything.. =)

I am a happi ger.. yipee ! photos up as soon as i get them from my dear..

ok.. though i seldom say this to him... but Dear.. i realli love u veri much.. =)

booo... I was hospitalized for the past few days... -_-
actualli its all my fault.. cos i didnt take good care of my eyes...

had some serious eye infection n i had to put eye drops every hour.. even when i am aslp... so i am extremely tired... -_-zzzzz

everyday was just slping there cos i just couldnt do anything.. couldnt open my eyes at all.. when it got alittle better i was dying to finish up the present for dear.. but i wasnt allowed to do bcos i couldnt strain my eyes at all.. tsk tsk..

dear dear came over to acc mi on sat n sun.. i knew he was veri veri tired due to work.. but haha he stil came.. n he bought alot alot alot of magazines for mi.. ended up i got scolded by my mom cos she said i wasted his money.. -_-""" oh.. nigel came over on monday to acc although i told him no need... lol.. caught up with each other n we were discussing abt the fhm girls... hahaha.. *thanks =)

got discharge on tuesday as the doc mentioned that my eyes are recovering fast.. but had to put the drops every 3 hour.. kinda no diff.. sad to say.. i cant wear contact lens anymore... n my vision would be affected due to e scar left behind... haiz...

ytd was valentine's day !! of cos i spend it with him... more to update.. need to rest my eyes.. ^-^

whhheeee....

i m boreeddddd.... -_-"""

my dear asked mi ytd if i wanted to go night safari? how cool is tt.. lol.. night safari wor... a place which i have onli visited once... n its like in primary sch.. heee..

well well... i must find new hobbies to keep myself entertained.. if not i will realli miss him alot...

okok.. i am toking nonsense.. but its true ma.. if u got nth to do.. u would think abt stuffs.. n i just happen to always think abt him.. so ta da !..

blahz.. i am rambling stupid things again...
beng they all went zouk tonight... mambo!!!
i am so guai k.. i did not go... i wanna slp.... i need more time to finish it !! arrrghhh.... so little time....

ok... time to retreat into bed.. yea... zzzzz

I have been having serious panda eyes due to lack of slp.... for a couple of weeks or even mths !!!! All thanks to my clever idea...

N i tot it was so easy at first... but its so not.. took mi 4 mths to do it... ya.. i admit i did slack alittle in the 4 mths.. but still.. i must admit its not an easy feat for me...

tonight.. i decided to take a break.. n rest my eyes.. although the thing is not completed.. n i am like a gan chiong spider le... but i wanna zzzz...

went shopping wif charlene today.. lol.. both of us spent a great deal of time at the bra shop... lol.. getting fanatic over a particular bra.. ha! so shitter...

n we met up wif ahgong, gb and kl.. took a short walk around before going home...

I am tired !!!!

Its been awhile since i last updated.. shall do a short update on my cny..

1st day of cny
went to my 2nd aunt place... been a long time since i saw ling... lol.. chatted with her most of the time there.. after which was to my gugu's hse.. did not go due to some stuffs..
went over to lucas' place bai nian.. kind of scary cos his place was crowded with alot of ppl..
played sparklers with him n his cousins..
nothin much too..

2nd day of cny
accompanied him the whole day.. after which we went over to beng's place for steamboat .. lost alot at his place.. close to 70.. tsk..
went off early...

3rd day of cny
accompanied him the whole day too.. supposed to go jason's hse.. but eh.. did not go in the end.. lol.. lazy to explain..
caught the movie "fearless".. not a bad show...

4th day of cny
boring day... at work...
could feel i was getting sick... slept almost the whole day at work..

5th day of cny
went to the doc n got the day off...
n rested at home..
spent the whole day watching tv...

6th day of cny
Its a friday !!! yeay...
met up wif ahgong n gb at jp for dinner...
we went to watch Fun with Dick & Jane.. ha.. gb treated mi..
funni show !! all should go catch it.. lol..

7th day of cny
went to gb's place for steamboat...
met up wif char at bp interchange first.. met up wif gb, ahgong, jason n cp at jp..
supposed to go dbl o wif beng n all but sorriez ppl.. i really wasnt in a good mood..
played with ahgong's ps2.. n some mj session.. shiiter i lost again..
this year isnt a good year to gamble.. lol...

8th day of cny
yap.. today.. i decided to stay at home..
cos i think i am not in the right mood...
i need some time alone.. n i dont feel like seeing anyone.. =)
tata.. thats all.. cny is over soon..

I have been an ugly girl for the whole week.. wore specs everyday.. -_-

Starting to look for new jobs.. anyone wanna intro mi some?? lol.. kinda lazy to find.. but seeing that staying with this company would bring more harm to my future.. i buck myself up.. been searching thru the papers everyday.. n trust mi.. chemical engineers jobs are rare finds!

everyday at the company was chit chatting with chiew ling n walking rounds n rounds in the clean room cos there's simply nth for us to do ! talking to tt girl really makes mi think abt wat i want in my life..

Last fri acc him to chinatown to get new year decoration for his place.. on the way.. i finally told him how i felt abt our r/s.. n like i guessed it.. he doesnt even know tt he's been likdat.. I guess he must be pretty hurt as i mentioned that i really felt like giving at a point of time.. but i told him i stil cant bear to let go.. i hope we can work out the differences tog.. all was well.. =)

Saturday was spent at jerm's hse... union's reunion dinner... steamboat my fav ! hehe.. but its way too much ppl.. everyone's like a hungry ghost.. kind of put mi off.. so in the end mi spenc wee and rh ended up having our "miniature steamboat" ha!
yup, n tt night... was a terrible n messy affair.. jr got drunk.. n i guess its the first time he ever vomitted in his slp.. in the end the guys had to drag him into the toilet n bath him.. lol.. while mi lingzi n peisun cleared up the vomit n mucus mess he left behind... ewwwkks..

n Chinese new year's around the corner !! i really cant wait.. i dont know why... mayb cos its lotsa days of holiday for all of us.. ! =)

eye infection.... i learnt my lesson... gonna take good care of my eyes in the future...

cant even open my eyes on sunday night that i went to hospital for check up... turns out its serious infection of my upper eye lid... thank god my eye ball was not affected by the infection..

slept thru monday.. thankfully it starts to turn better.. i can finally see.. lol.. but with some blur vision.. so gonna turn into bed soon ! zzzz

ji dan !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

stupid idiotic brainless freak !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

arrrrghhhhh..........

seriously i really feel like killing someone... really feel like !!!!!!!!!
arrrrgghhhh........

-bang wall-
-bang wall-
-bang wall-

i wan to vent my frustrations !!!!!!!!!!!!! i can feel all of them bottling inside me.... just a small thing can ignite the blow le...

JI DAN !!!!!!!!!!!! WANG BA DAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

arRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PUI !